(Of course, doesn’t that kind of go without saying, since there are no girls on the interwebs?)

SEE MOAR

The LOLCat phenomenon made it into the Chicago Tribune today, and columnist Steve Johnson has got a problem. And that means I have got a problem with Steve Johnson!

There are things to praise about “lolcats,” the Internet phenomenon that sees people decorate pictures of cats with cutesy phrases and then post them to public Web sites, digital mini-posters advertising the animals’ imagined innermost thoughts.

Oh, don’t hold back, Steve. Tell us how you really feel.

And it does not seem likely to do any real harm, this deliberately kitsch anthropomorphizing of wittle kittie-witties.

…wait for it…

But beyond that, come on, people. Don’t you see that you are creating — and exalting — the Precious Moments figurines of Internet culture?

Them’s fightin’ words, sir!

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A popular job search website was recently attacked by what has been described as a “giant, fire-breathing monster”. Many eye-witness accounts were difficult for reporters to understand, since their mouths had somehow become de-synched with what they were saying, but those who were intelligible argued over whether it was Mothra or Godzilla, and soon afterwards a debate broke out over which monster would win in a fight.

The website’s data showed evidence of having been stomped, but repair crews were able to put the ones and zeroes back together. However, many of the website’s users are now concerned that the monster has access to their personal information, including their home address. One victim told reporters, after hurriedly securing her belongings and booking a plane ticket, “Screw this! I’m moving back to Tokyo!”

Courtesy of mental_floss, all the best Oscar-related LOLKittehs, assembled for ur convenience and ur lulz! I can has liking 4 last wun.

The correct plural of “penis” is “penes” or “penises”, not “peni” or “penii”. Likewise, the correct plural of “fetus” is “fetuses”, not “feti” or “fetii”. Just because a word comes from Latin and ends in -s does not mean you get free license to stick vowels on the end of it. Please forget everything you have heard about octopi and radii — Latin grammar is ridiculously complicated, and at any rate, we speak English, which means using a good old-fashioned English plural is always A-OK.

I just needed to say that, because I see it everywhere and it drives me nuts. The “greengrocer’s apostrophe” drives me nuts, too, but at least that one’s already been covered.

Thank you. You may now return to your regularly scheduled internets.

I’ve been tagged for a meme again.

INSTRUCTIONS: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.

1. Life is Just Around The Corner

2. Tom LeDree

3. Tam’s Fitness Journal

4. Lose Weight With Me

5. Chicken Girl

Next select five people to tag: (if you haven’t done it already)

Will Sjorensen

Crabby McSlacker

Toenee

Sarah of Open Source Diet

Half Man

And now for the questions:

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Three browsers at the same time, man.

Actually, Safari didn’t impress me all that much. Sure, I’d use it over IE, but I’d use anything over IE. Which is not to say that I don’t like Safari, it just doesn’t “wow” me like, say, Opera does. Sorry, Steve Jobs. The truth hurts.

Ooh! This is exciting!

Chief executive Steve Jobs said Apple “dream big” and wanted to expand the 4.9% market share Safari enjoys.

[...]

He said Safari was “the fastest browser on Windows”, saying it was twice as fast as Internet Explorer.

…Yeah, I think Jobs might be just saying that, but this is enough to make me want to boot to Windows! Even though I’m a Firefox person, more browsers = MORE GOOD, especially in Windows. Even without getting on the Mac bandwagon, I’m pretty sure Safari for Windows will kick IE’s ass three ways till Tuesday, but of course, IE sucks so hard that that’s not difficult to do.

I’m always happy to see someone fighting the good fight to break IE’s stranglehold on the interweb. Apple, I salute you!

I have this pet idea that I’ve been tossing around in my head. There are basically two types of computer users: people who think computers should be like computers, and people who think computers should be like toasters. Computer people actually appreciate what the device is capable of, understand how to maintain the thing without becoming a Typhoid Mary, and may even actually enjoy tinkering with it in their spare time. Toaster people, on the other hand, can be defined by their total and absolute unwillingness to engage their brain when using their computer. They only use it for one or two things, they never read instructions or dialog boxes, and expect to be able to push a button (any button) and have the computer do exactly what they wanted it to do.

Honestly, toaster people really shouldn’t be using computers. They don’t want to use computers. They want to use toasters. Problem is, no one makes a toaster that does email. So instead, they drop a couple thou on a big, fancy, powerful computer (running Windows, of course) and make themselves and everyone else miserable by repeatedly breaking the thing, becoming a spam and virus vector, and just generally being a drain on society.

So, why doesn’t somebody make a toaster that does email?

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Every time I hear about things like this, a little part of my brain commits seppuku.

To subscribe, go to your personalized Web browser (i.e. Yahoo!, Google, etc.) and then go to the Blotter. In some browsers, such as Firefox, the RSS symbol lights up when you are on the Blotter page. Click on it to subscribe. In others, like Yahoo!, click on “Add Content” and follow you browser’s instructions to receive a constant feed of new Blotter stories.

My god, I’ve been living in my own geeky little world for so long that I’d actually gotten the idea that people know things like… what a “browser” is. Of course, there is also the little problem of most people not realizing that Interweb Exploder is not the same thing as “the internet”. But how much should I really expect from people who, fundamentally, can’t comprehend any device more complicated than a kitchen appliance, and aren’t interested in trying?