Psst, Barbara: Reader’s Digest ranks Sweden fourth in the world for “greenest, most livable places.” The United States is number 23.

Olbermann’s head is going to explode tonight. You read it here first.

I got to go home early from work today and when my boyfriend picked me up, he told me about an alleged assault that was allegedly perpetrated on a McCain supporter in Pittsburgh yesterday. She allegedly was mugged after allegedly using an ATM on the “wrong side of town” (that’s where the black people allegedly are, don’tcha know) and the perpetrator allegedly became “enraged” after seeing the alleged McCain bumper sticker on her alleged car. He allegedly gave her a black eye (her eye turned black and blue immediately but somehow managed to not swell or turn red at all! What a coinkidink!), and allegedly scratched a backwards B into her face with a knife (without actually breaking her skin or leaving any other wounds! What a considerate mugger!). She waited to call the police for about an hour after the alleged attack and didn’t bother to seek medical attention.

But, oops! Now she’s confessed to making the whole thing up. Gee, didn’t see that one coming, did you?

Here, have a sack full of links.

• DU thread: KDKA breaking: She lied! CONFESSES! CHARGES BEING FILED!
• KDKA: Police: Campaign Worker Admits Making Up Story
• WTAE: Police: Woman With ‘B’ Scratched In Face Faked Political Attack

Notice where WTAE credited the photo to? That led me to Sarah’s Army, a blog run by someone who calls Barack Obama a communist and openly calls for his assassination:

Edgar Cayce’s Prediction
America’s first communist president is shot and killed in the Oval Office just weeks after his inauguration in 2009….

Gosh, those right-wingers are so nice, aren’t they?

The comments from Sarah’s Army led me to Blognigger, who is just a wee bit skeptical of this story. And he’s not alone, Michelle Malkin is, too!

Wonkette digs up a whole bunch of dirt and posts an incriminating screenshot of B-Girl’s Twitter feed. Check out the tweet she sent after the supposed attack:

Oh the blog I will be making soon… Its been a rough night #litf08

That’s what you say after you get brutally attacked by a big, scary black man, right? “Oh boy, do I have a story to tell you! Let’s go out for some ice cream and dish!”

And, of course, there’s the requisite Smoking Gun article with even more Twitter goodness.

Boy, it’s a good thing this hasn’t hit the major news media yet… oh, wait…

Sucks to be you, Ashley.

Yes. Traffic.

Then the genius calls back to complain that the 911 operator left him a voicemail informing him that it is illegal to call 911 for a non-emergency. The nerve! Doesn’t she know who he is?! John McCain’s brother is too important to wait in traffic!

I guess this is what happens when you say a word so much it just rolls off your tongue…

Via Think Progress by way of Democratic Underground, Sarah Palin takes a question from a third grader about what the Vice President’s job is, and gets it completely wrong.

Q: Brandon Garcia wants to know, “What does the Vice President do?”

PALIN: That’s something that Piper would ask me! … [T]hey’re in charge of the U.S. Senate so if they want to they can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his classroom.

At this point, I’m pretty sure any one of Palin’s kids would be better qualified to be Vice President than Palin is. Yes, even the baby.

Clearly, Hopey McChangePants is a way better candidate than Oldie McDodderton.

Doesn’t she know we have YouTube now?

Don’t you worry, Michele. I’m sure El Tinklenberg and his half a million dollars are very happy with you.

Just in time for Caturday!

I’ve got to wonder, does McCain ever watch his own appearances? Do his handlers ever point out these things to him? Is his contempt for Obama simply so great that these tics are irrepressible?

It’s a good thing I was listening to the debate rather than watching it, or I would have thrown heavy things at the TV. McCain is a grade A asshole.

Fuck you, McCain. Before I just thought you were a disgusting politician. Now I think you’re a disgusting person. Go back to Arizona and crawl back under the rock you came from, plskthx.