Reporters from competing news network QBPN caught up with the sole proprietor of the Mutant Chicken Network earlier today, gnawing the ends of her wings and looking as though she might just lose her head.

“Please, for the love of cuddly puppies, I just can’t take it anymore! McCain’s hate-mongering and race-baiting campaign is just too evil! I need someone in power that I can mildly disagree with and gently make fun of!”

“Is that why you’ve been doing practically nothing but posting videos for the last few weeks?” asked the QBPN reporter.

“Yes! I can only stand them in the form of 2-minute soundbites! And I’ve even had enough of that! You’ve got to elect Barack Obama and stop this madness! I’m begging you!”

“Uh, okay. Any other requests?”

At this point in the interview, the Chicken Network proprietor seemed to regain some semblance of sanity. “Yeah, if you could make sure the Republican party as we know it gets utterly dismantled and replaced with some sort of new conservative faction that I can have disagreements with but still have some amount of grudging respect for, that would be great. And get Obama some pie already. The man sounds like he’s seriously jonesing.”

Clearly, Hopey McChangePants is a way better candidate than Oldie McDodderton.

Mmm… pie.