(Im in ur intertubes, stealin ur ideas!)

CBS: Shuttle Endeavor Blasts Off Into Night Sky

“We’re about to get an extreme home makeover. It’s an exciting day,” space station commander Mike Fincke radioed to Mission Control. “It doesn’t get better than this, my friends.”

Endeavour’s astronauts will double as kitchen and bathroom installers once they arrive at the space station Sunday, hooking up extra cooking and sleeping equipment so the space station’s crew can expand next year. They will deliver a new refrigerator as well, giving station residents much-desired cold drinks for a change.

But what the space station residents don’t know is that the Endeavour “extreme home makeover-ers” are going to take out all their ceiling fans and paint their kitchen a really ugly shade of green. Paige Davis could not be reached for comment.

CBS: Obama Wants Applicants’ Web-Posting Past

(CNET) If you want a job in an Obama administration, be prepared to disclose every blog post or comment you’ve ever written.

A nine-page questionnaire requires applicants to list — and if possible, provide copies of — all “posts or comments on blogs or other Web sites” they have ever made. Also required are “aliases” or nicknames used on those sites.

God non-God, man! Do you realize what you’re asking?! Tracking down everything I’ve ever written on the Intertubes could take years! Still, I guess it’s a step up from McCain, who’s only vaguely aware that this Internet thingy exists.

Yahoo: Obama has more threats than other Presidents-elect

One of the most popular white supremacist Web sites got more than 2,000 new members the day after the election, compared with 91 new members on Election Day, according to an AP count. [...]

It is not surprising that a black president would galvanize the white supremacist movement, said Mark Potok, director of the Southern Poverty Law Center, who studies the white supremacy movement.

“The overwhelming flavor of the white supremacist world is a mix of desperation, confusion and hoping that this will somehow turn into a good thing for them,” Potok said. He said hate groups have been on the rise in the past seven years because of a common concern about immigration.

Yeah, okay. At least the morans are nice and visible where we want them. They might as well all be wearing signs.

(Widget redacted for behaving badly. Obama won, in case anyone’s still wondering.)

I guess I was a little too optimistic in my last post. Kay Hagan has responded to Elizabeth Dole’s attack ad on her, and she has this to say:

Let´s get right to it. Elizabeth Dole should absolutely be ashamed of herself.

I don´t know what things were like when she grew up in North Carolina, but the North Carolina I was raised in would NEVER condone this kind of personal slander.

I can´t begin to tell you how upset I am that she has attacked my Christian faith.

[...]

At their core, Americans aren´t Democrat or Republican, red or blue – they´re Americans, plain and simple. We ALL love our country, and we all value the role of faith in American life.

Shame on anyone who says differently.

Sigh… Swing and a miss. She calls the ad “personal slander”, which I suppose it is, but only if you accept the premise that associating with Godless Americans is an awful and shameful thing. If you don’t accept that premise, which I sure as hell don’t and I hope nobody reading this site does, it should be glaringly obvious that we, atheists, were the ones who were slandered by the implication that our money is somehow “tainted” and that we have this horrible, secret conspiracy to undermine everything America stands for. Hagan hasn’t said a word in defense of the Godless Americans PAC, she only points out that they were one of 40 groups present at the fundraiser. Would she not have gone if she had read the guest list more carefully? Does she think our money is tainted?

And that’s not even the worst of it… this one hurts me to my very core.

The Obama and McCain camps recently had a difference of opinions about something… and McCain’s camp was on the right side of it! And Obama’s camp was bigoted and hateful! I’m traumatized.

NoGodBlog: Obama Aides Diss Atheists

Both Obama and McCain representatives were present at a forum where the following question was asked:

“With at least 8% of Pennsylvanians being atheists, agnostics, and humanists, what are the McCain-Palin campaign going to say tonight to attract any undecided voters from that group of Pennsylvanians?”

The McCain camp’s response:

McCain’s National Evangelical Director, Marlys Pompa, said that McCain was going to be a president
of all the people, people “of all faiths and no faiths.” She mentioned the “wonderful melting
pot” of America, and generally emphasized the inclusiveness and unity of a McCain presidency. She, of course, did not mention Palin.

The Obama camp butted in, even though the question was not posed to them:

Don Miller, an author and social conservative who delivered a prayer at the Democratic convention, said, “Senator Obama has a policy director and an advisor for many different faiths. He has nothing on atheists or agnostics. There’s not this grand effort for the Democrats to reach out to a group of pagans to try to get them to vote for Senator Obama.”

D. Paul Monteiro, Obama’s National Deputy Director for Religious Affairs, then said, “Senator Obama has a twenty-year history, a twenty-year testimony” and described Obama’s support for Bush’s “faith-based partnership program” and how Obama said “no” to those who distributed flyers at the Democratic National Convention urging him, on the basis of church-state separation, to oppose public funding of faith-based initiatives.

Then, referring to Sen. Obama, Monteiro proclaimed, “This is not some crazy wacko atheist trying to make sure that your children grow up to marry trees.”

What the fuck?! Please tell me this is a joke you guys are playing on me for Halloween. The McKKKain camp is standing up for religious liberty (to be fair, I’ve never thought of McCain himself as a religious wacko, but Palin and the rest of the GOP certainly are), and the Obama camp is spewing divisive hatred of the sort that I have never heard from them before?!

Let’s take these attacks one at a time, shall we?

1. Atheists are not pagans. Pagans are not atheists. There is a difference between the two, and there is nothing wrong with being either, thank you very much.
2. You have to be a “crazy wacko atheist” to care about the rights and interests of atheists?! Good non-God.
3. It’s trite, but — you’re the ones who believe in talking snakes and virgin births and we’re the ones who are “crazy wackos”? I don’t think all or even most Christians are crazy, mind, but people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, is all I’m sayin’…
4. Um, hey guys? You might want to take a look at your party’s platform, because you guys are supposed to be for gay rights. Might not be such a smart idea to make cracks about “marrying trees”, and that’s on top of the fact that it makes you look like a dick…
5. Also, if you’re going to be a homophobic asswipe you need to get your slurs straight. Teh Gheys are the ones who want your children to marry trees. Atheists just don’t care whether they do.

Gee, and here I was thinking that I might not have much to write about anymore on the atheism front… this really isn’t what I had in mind, though, guys. Defending freedom of religion — ur doin it wrong.

The Daily Show finally did a segment last night on McCain’s putting women’s “health” in sarcastic “air quotes” during the third debate. What the heck took them so long?

First B-Girl, now these two fine gentlemen! Don’t you just love McCain supporters?

MSNBC: ATF: Plot by skinheads to kill Obama is foiled

Fortunately for everyone, these two slack-jawed yokels aren’t any more intelligent than most white supremacist assholes.

Ram vehicle into Obama?
For the Obama plot, the legal documents show, Cowart and Schlesselman “planned to drive their vehicle as fast as they could toward Obama shooting at him from the windows.”

“Both individuals stated they would dress in all white tuxedos and wear top hats during the assassination attempt,” the court complaint states. “Both individuals further stated they knew they would and were willing to die during this attempt.”

Oh, they were going to have a grand old time! Jolly good show, what what!

Stuff like this is why I can’t stand hearing my very own family members supporting McCain. Only 8 more days until the world might start to make some kind of sense again…

Olbermann’s head is going to explode tonight. You read it here first.

I got to go home early from work today and when my boyfriend picked me up, he told me about an alleged assault that was allegedly perpetrated on a McCain supporter in Pittsburgh yesterday. She allegedly was mugged after allegedly using an ATM on the “wrong side of town” (that’s where the black people allegedly are, don’tcha know) and the perpetrator allegedly became “enraged” after seeing the alleged McCain bumper sticker on her alleged car. He allegedly gave her a black eye (her eye turned black and blue immediately but somehow managed to not swell or turn red at all! What a coinkidink!), and allegedly scratched a backwards B into her face with a knife (without actually breaking her skin or leaving any other wounds! What a considerate mugger!). She waited to call the police for about an hour after the alleged attack and didn’t bother to seek medical attention.

But, oops! Now she’s confessed to making the whole thing up. Gee, didn’t see that one coming, did you?

Here, have a sack full of links.

• DU thread: KDKA breaking: She lied! CONFESSES! CHARGES BEING FILED!
• KDKA: Police: Campaign Worker Admits Making Up Story
• WTAE: Police: Woman With ‘B’ Scratched In Face Faked Political Attack

Notice where WTAE credited the photo to? That led me to Sarah’s Army, a blog run by someone who calls Barack Obama a communist and openly calls for his assassination:

Edgar Cayce’s Prediction
America’s first communist president is shot and killed in the Oval Office just weeks after his inauguration in 2009….

Gosh, those right-wingers are so nice, aren’t they?

The comments from Sarah’s Army led me to Blognigger, who is just a wee bit skeptical of this story. And he’s not alone, Michelle Malkin is, too!

Wonkette digs up a whole bunch of dirt and posts an incriminating screenshot of B-Girl’s Twitter feed. Check out the tweet she sent after the supposed attack:

Oh the blog I will be making soon… Its been a rough night #litf08

That’s what you say after you get brutally attacked by a big, scary black man, right? “Oh boy, do I have a story to tell you! Let’s go out for some ice cream and dish!”

And, of course, there’s the requisite Smoking Gun article with even more Twitter goodness.

Boy, it’s a good thing this hasn’t hit the major news media yet… oh, wait…

Sucks to be you, Ashley.

Yes. Traffic.

Then the genius calls back to complain that the 911 operator left him a voicemail informing him that it is illegal to call 911 for a non-emergency. The nerve! Doesn’t she know who he is?! John McCain’s brother is too important to wait in traffic!

I guess this is what happens when you say a word so much it just rolls off your tongue…

Just in time for Caturday!