Jeremiah 10:2-4: “Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.”

You heard the man. Maybe you should leave the heathen customs to us heathens and do a little praying instead. In secret, of course:

Matthew 6:5-6: “And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.”

Yahoo: Naked chocolate Jesus rises again in New York

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A life-size chocolate sculpture of a naked Jesus will finally be displayed in New York starting in late October, seven months after an outcry by Roman Catholics forced a different gallery to cancel its exhibition.

The chocolate Jesus will be joined by sculptures of several fully clothed saints, but the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights said it will not protest because, unlike before, there are no plans to put the “anatomically correct” Jesus in public view during Holy Week.

…but it’s okay over Halloween? I’m afraid I don’t quite grasp their logic. Blasphemy is blasphemy, isn’t it?

And why are they pissed? Because Google didn’t honor Memorial Day and Veterans’ Day! That means they hate America!!

Chicago Tribune: Google logo tweak sends critics into orbit

“It’s a kick to your belly,” said conservative blogger Giovanni Gallucci, 39, a social media consultant from Dallas. “I understand these guys are scientists and engineers and they have their quirks and want to make sure people are recognized who might not normally be recognized . . . but why not celebrate the struggles that we’ve come through as a people?”

Conservatives see the Sputnik logo as particularly galling because the search giant’s in-house artist has tweaked the Google logo for a variety of obscure events, including World Water Day, Persian New Year, painter Edvard Munch’s birthday and China’s Dragon Boat Festival.

Google regularly gives other U.S. holidays the logo treatment, including Halloween, Thanksgiving and St. Patrick’s Day (but not for Columbus Day, which was Monday).

“When they ignore Veterans Day and Memorial Day, I think they’re telling us something about the way they view America,” said Joseph Farah, editor of WorldNetDaily.com, a conservative website that has criticized Google’s logo decisions.

What is it with conservatives and their inability to mind their own business and let other people mind theirs? Is it genetic? People, Google is a private organization. Which holidays they want to put up a cartoon for and which they don’t is their prerogative. You want a big, glurgy banner on Memorial Day? Put it on your website, and get the fuck over yourselves.

It be International Talk Like A Pirate Day! Arrrr! An’ I’ll keelhaul any one o’ ye scurvy seadogs who talks like a landlubber!

Avast, it be time for wenches an’ grog, mateys! Arrrr!

Guys, what did I tell you about the “War on Christmas”?

WorldNutDaily has flipped the fuck out over a recent episode of “Two and a Half Men” in which Charlie Sheen sings:

Joy to the world
I’m getting laid
I’m getting laid tonight.

We’ll light the Yule log
Deck the halls
And then we’ll play some
Jingle balls.

It’s been a real long wait
This is our second date
It’s Christmas Eve
And I’m getting laid.

Oh my god, somebody parodied a Christmas carol! Will this horrible persecution never end?

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It’s that time of year again. Don Kroah of Townhall.com has spewed the following:

While Wal-Mart has apparently seen the error of its ways (or at least of its bad business judgment) and done an about-face from last year’s ban on employees’ use of the words Merry Christmas in greeting customers, the war on public celebration of one of the nation’s holiest days continues unabated.

Oh, really? I don’t know which alternate universe this clown lives in, but in this one, the “holiday shopping season” is in full swing and everyone’s been playing Christmas music since November 1st. Is this about those Atheist Gestapo troops that are going around burning down churches and destroying manger scenes? Oh, wait a minute. We live in a predominately Christian country and nothing even remotely like that has ever happened. So, pray tell, what is this about?

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