Did you know that zombie PCs are now a threat to our national security?

The FBI has found networks of zombie computers being used to spread spam, steal IDs and attack websites.

The agency said the zombies or bots were “a growing threat to national security”.

There is a solution, you know. Take all the PCs running Windows out back and shoot them. Or place them in the corner and set them on fire. Or just wipe the hard drive and install Linux. Or buy a Mac, that’s almost as good.

Oh, and the name of this zombie-fighting initiative is apparently “Operation Bot Roast”. Seriously, guys? Quit doing my job for me!

Ooh! This is exciting!

Chief executive Steve Jobs said Apple “dream big” and wanted to expand the 4.9% market share Safari enjoys.

[...]

He said Safari was “the fastest browser on Windows”, saying it was twice as fast as Internet Explorer.

…Yeah, I think Jobs might be just saying that, but this is enough to make me want to boot to Windows! Even though I’m a Firefox person, more browsers = MORE GOOD, especially in Windows. Even without getting on the Mac bandwagon, I’m pretty sure Safari for Windows will kick IE’s ass three ways till Tuesday, but of course, IE sucks so hard that that’s not difficult to do.

I’m always happy to see someone fighting the good fight to break IE’s stranglehold on the interweb. Apple, I salute you!

u can has lulz plzkthx

I have this pet idea that I’ve been tossing around in my head. There are basically two types of computer users: people who think computers should be like computers, and people who think computers should be like toasters. Computer people actually appreciate what the device is capable of, understand how to maintain the thing without becoming a Typhoid Mary, and may even actually enjoy tinkering with it in their spare time. Toaster people, on the other hand, can be defined by their total and absolute unwillingness to engage their brain when using their computer. They only use it for one or two things, they never read instructions or dialog boxes, and expect to be able to push a button (any button) and have the computer do exactly what they wanted it to do.

Honestly, toaster people really shouldn’t be using computers. They don’t want to use computers. They want to use toasters. Problem is, no one makes a toaster that does email. So instead, they drop a couple thou on a big, fancy, powerful computer (running Windows, of course) and make themselves and everyone else miserable by repeatedly breaking the thing, becoming a spam and virus vector, and just generally being a drain on society.

So, why doesn’t somebody make a toaster that does email?

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Every time I hear about things like this, a little part of my brain commits seppuku.

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My god, I’ve been living in my own geeky little world for so long that I’d actually gotten the idea that people know things like… what a “browser” is. Of course, there is also the little problem of most people not realizing that Interweb Exploder is not the same thing as “the internet”. But how much should I really expect from people who, fundamentally, can’t comprehend any device more complicated than a kitchen appliance, and aren’t interested in trying?

Wizard
22% Combativeness, 20% Sneakiness, 88% Intellect, 13% Spirituality

Brilliant! You are a Wizard!

Wizards are spells-casters who study powerful arcane magic. While Wizards tend to be pretty fragile, some of those spells can pack quite a punch. Unlike Clerics, Wizards aren’t as good at fixing people as they are at breaking them, so watch where you toss that fireball…

Your most distinctive trait is your intelligence. You’re probably well learned and logical, if perhaps a bit fragile.

What RPG class are you?

Note to self: Next time, read the release notes before you upgrade!

Known Issues

Memory Usage
There is currently a memory leak in Gran Paradiso Alpha 2 which will cause the browser to consume excessive amounts of memory after heavy browsing. This issue will be fixed in Gran Paradiso Alpha 3.

Oh, now you tell me. May I assume that this means Alpha 3 will be coming out fairly soon? (I would downgrade, but… I don’t quite care enough.)

You bastards!

Are you ready for some comedy gold?

Windows Vista is “dramatically more secure than any other operating system released”, Microsoft founder Bill Gates has told BBC News.

OMG! Stop, you’re killing me!

Security analysts have praised the improved tools in Vista but many feel that holes in the operating system eventually will be exposed and that Microsoft will continue to need to update it through online patches.

“Eventually”? There have already been exploits for Vista. I think Billy shouldn’t be allowed to use the word “secure” until he can produce a version of Windows that can’t be hijacked into a botnet just from being connected to the internet. Then maybe we can start talking about Windows being secure.

Has someone you chat with been acting funny? Are they babbling about this new keyboard they have that’s more comfortable than their old one, and you’re wondering what they mean? They may have gotten the Dvorak keyboard. The Dvorak keyboard is superior to the more traditional QWERTY keyboard because QWERTY was arranged primarily to keep the keys from jamming, while Dvorak was made with comfort in mind. And comfortable it is. If your friend is showing some or all of these symptoms, they may have gotten themselves some Dvorak action:

• They suddenly lost all ability to type, but recovered a few weeks later and now keep saying how much better their wrist feels.
• When they typo, they mix up their vowels, or they mix up their consonants, but they usually don’t mix up vowels and consonants. The result of a typo is often a real word, or at least a pronounceable one.
• They complain about having to use other people’s keyboards.
• They complain that using QWERTY makes them have to stretch their fingers too much.
• They gloat that other people can’t type on their keyboard.
• They keep telling you to get yourself some Dvorak action.