I’m a PC, and I use Linux because Windows sucks big floppy donkey dicks.

Did you know Jack Chick is making flash widgets of his tracts now?

This is like… the Stupidity Wave of the Future.

I have to confess, my phone doesn’t make a ringing sound. My ringtone is an mp3 of Stephen Colbert saying, “Your phone is ringing! Your phone is ringing!”

LA Times: Yemeni 10-year-old divorcee Nujood Ali goes back to school

Like children across the world, 10-year-old Nujood Ali went back to school this month after a lengthy break. But Nujood hadn’t been lazing about or playing hide-and-seek with her friends during the summer.

Instead, after she was pulled out of the second grade by her father earlier this year, she was married off to a man three times her age, who beat her and sexually abused her.

For many girls in this traditional society, where tribal custom and conservative interpretations of Islam dominate, that would have been the end of the story. But Nujood was outraged. She gathered up her courage and on the advice of an aunt went to court in April. She got the help of a lawyer and filed for divorce.

A judge quickly granted it.

And on Tuesday morning, the divorcee, possibly the world’s youngest, once again became a schoolgirl.

The story says that some schools rejected Nujood as a student because they were afraid she would tell the other students about her experience in a traditional Islamic marriage with a man three times her age, just like the one little Aisha had with the Prophet Mohammed. Gee, I wonder why they would have a problem with that? I mean, that would mean there’s something wrong with having sex with nine-year-old girls. But everyone knows that’s perfectly okay, right? The Koran says so and everything!

I’m so confused…

(Yes, yes, I know. But I couldn’t resist the snark.)

I really need to stop with the posts about Islam, all it does is piss me off and, usually, make me look bad. I like individual Muslims just fine. But just because most Muslims are perfectly nice people doesn’t mean that the ugly, violent, fundamentalist undercurrent to Islam magically doesn’t exist and isn’t a problem. But I really should let ex-Muslims deal with those people; they’re better equipped. As an ex-Christian, it makes more sense for me to go after Christianity. So I might as well jump on the bandwagon.

Sweet Jesus, Ray Comfort is an idiot!

Quoth an atheist on Ray’s blog:

“You just don’t get it, Ray. Your God is so psychotic that I wouldn’t worship Him even if you could prove He was real, which thank God, you can’t. Your own Holy Book says that your God drowned 99.9999% of all air-breathing life on the planet. Kittens, Ray. He drowned jillions of kittens–and you worship Him. Are you crazy or what?” Captain H.

And bleateth Ray:

Why are you so upset? As an atheist, you believe that no one made the kittens. There was nothing, and then, over time, there were jillions of cute kittens. Besides, for an atheist, life has no rhyme nor reason, and there’s no absolute right and there’s no absolute wrong. So, in your book, God ultimately didn’t do anything morally wrong.

“Baaa, baaa, baaaa. Atheists have no morals. Baaaa.” Yawn. In fact the morality of most atheists is more absolute than yours, Ray. We judge right and wrong based on whether our actions are harmful to other people or not. You base your morals on… well, sometimes I can’t really tell what you base yours on. The Bible (supposedly the eternal, unchanging Word of God) says God really likes it when you sacrifice animals to him. Have you burned any goat carcasses lately, Ray? Why not? It also says you’re supposed to stone disobedient children to death. Have any of your kids ever talked back to you, Ray? If so, why are they still alive? Gee, could it be because you’re using atheist morals instead of the ones prescribed by your Bible?

Are you as angry at veterinarians (who in the United States kill around 12 million cats each year) as you are at God? They kill them Captain. Cats and kittens (and dogs). When did you last get angry enough about cat and kitten deaths to picket outside a vet clinic?

Hmm… let me see… massive world-wide genocide of every living thing, versus making an unfortunate but necessary choice to euthanize a cat because it’s better than letting it starve to death on the street. Yeah, that’s exactly the same thing. Besides, if you’re going to get ticked off about animals being euthanized, you should be getting ticked at the people who don’t have their cats spayed and neutered, because that’s where all those extra cats are coming from. Haven’t you been listening to Bob Barker?

Besides, if God made the kittens, He has the right to kill them, if He sees fit to do so. I’m sure you know that cats breed like rabbits. Can you imagine how overrun the earth would be by now if God hadn’t killed those jillions of kittens?

Wow, you really don’t understand how nature works, do you? I prescribe 20cc’s of Animal Planet.

I’ll give you a hint: the cat population is controlled by the rabbit population, and vice versa. The cats eat the extra rabbits, and any extra cats starve to death because they can’t get enough rabbits. See how that works? The reason the domestic cat population isn’t controlled that way is because we have domesticated them. It’s our own damn fault. Hence, spaying and neutering. Seriously, watch The Price Is Right once in a while.

So, the next time you are upset about God and His judgments, remember that if cats came by the process of evolution (and all cats die), God didn’t kill them, evolution did. So get mad at your own beliefs and lighten up when it comes to others. Live and let live.

Nice try, Ray, but you totally missed the point. You believe your God is omni-benevolent and the absolute source of all morality — and this is the same entity that you also believe drowned every single kitten and puppy and bunny rabbit in the entire world, for something that was his own damn fault to begin with. If God is omnipotent, then he has the power to create perfect humans. Therefore, if he wanted perfect humans, he should have created perfect humans! Instead, he created fucked-up humans and then punished them for being exactly the way he created them to be. Way to go, God. And you worship this asshole? Seriously?

That’s why you don’t get it, Ray. Keep on bleating, though, ’cause this is really entertaining.

Via GodBeGone, YouTube atheist Extant Dodo has posted a video primer on the top 25 creationist logical fallacies and other argumentative blunders.

While watching the video, it struck me that a lot of the trouble creationists have with the concept of evolution results from their being hung up on the idea that life as we know it was just “poofed” into existence one day exactly as it exists right now. Even when they try to imagine what evolutionary theory actually describes, the best their minds can come up with is “crocoduck”. No wonder they’re so confused.

Image via Wikipedia

No Muslim man in Britain will ever again be convicted of rape, domestic abuse, or murder, because under Sharia Law, women are sub-human and don’t deserve to be protected from any of those things. This is the beginning of the end for women’s rights in the UK. I hope you idiots are happy with yourselves.

Times Online: Revealed: UK’s first official sharia courts

There are concerns that women who agree to go to tribunal courts are getting worse deals because Islamic law favours men.

Siddiqi said that in a recent inheritance dispute handled by the court in Nuneaton, the estate of a Midlands man was divided between three daughters and two sons.

The judges on the panel gave the sons twice as much as the daughters, in accordance with sharia. Had the family gone to a normal British court, the daughters would have got equal amounts.

In the six cases of domestic violence, Siddiqi said the judges ordered the husbands to take anger management classes and mentoring from community elders. There was no further punishment.

In each case, the women subsequently withdrew the complaints they had lodged with the police and the police stopped their investigations.

Avast, me hearties! There’ll be no landlubber talk on the blog today! Today be Talk Like A Pirate Day, an’ anyone who doesn’t talk like a scurvy seadog will be summarily keelhauled! Hoist the mainsail an’ swab the mizzenmast! Even the World o’ Warcraft be gettin’ inta the act!

Via De-Conversion:

So, I offer my Write A Better Bible! challenge. The task is to write a (short!) scripture, only this time, do it better – by which I mean, clearer. We want to demonstrate that any God worth his cherubim could effortlessly have authored a text that clearly and unmistakably tells us the facts about him and about salvation, in such a way that even the most godless monkey-loving Wiccan liberal heathen relativist can read it and get it straight. And with none of this dithering about in Aramaic wondering whether that squiggle at the end of dikaiosune makes it mean “righteousness” or “goat stew.”

Very well.

The Bible According to Chicken Girl

Dear Humanity:

I don’t give a rat’s ass about your prayers or your worship and admiration. My one and only commandment to you is DON’T BE A DICK.

Love, “God”.

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Via Homoscurvy Gayseadog!