Wal-Mart exists in an alternate universe

That’s the only way to explain what happened today.

This afternoon, someone had finished all the turkey, leaving me nothing to eat for lunch, so I headed across the street to Wal-Mart for some peanut butter. While I was there, I took a detour into the clothing section. At first I thought I might get myself a pair of shorts, but they only had bermuda shorts, which would look silly on someone my height, I think, and when I grabbed a size 10 off the rack (10 being the size I am in normal stores), I thought, These are curiously large. I didn’t try them on, though, instead proceeding to the skirts and blouses. I used to have this kind of poofy white full-length skirt (back when I was at my highest weight and no longer had any jeans my size and so spent a whole semester wearing nothing but skirts) that I used to like, and hey, what have we here… something very much like that, knee-length, in a very attractive shade of blue! So I grabbed a 10 off the rack and tried it on.

It was way too big. There wasn’t an 8, so I grabbed a 6 and went back to the fitting room, thinking, Now this one has got to fit, or else it’ll be too small… It was still too big! I thought about going back a third time for the only size they had left, a 4, but at this point I was getting sick of the whole exercise and decided to just get my peanut butter and leave.

I’m too petite and dainty to be wearing big poofy skirts like that, anyway.

Tags: WTF