Archive for August 21st, 2007

The Space Shuttle Endeavour has safely returned to Earth, despite a 3.5 inch gouge in its heat shield sustained during the launch. Upon touchdown, all seven crew members were heard to exclaim, “SUCK IT, ATMOSPHERE!”

The latest photographic evidence has confirmed that the purpose of Pavarotti’s recent hospital stays has been to create a mold for a wax figure of him, not to treat pancreatic cancer as was previously believed.
The singer’s friends and family intend to use the figure to enable Pavarotti to continue touring, rather than go into retirement [...]