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This just in: Eyeless kidnapper on the loose in Florida!

Saturday, February 24th, 2007

Parents warned as police search for Florida kidnapper

police sketch of the eyeless kidnapper

Police say they have no idea how the suspect manages to abduct children despite having absolutely no eyes, but parents say he “creeps [them] the fuck out”. Also unclear is why the suspect bothers to wear glasses, and how they stay on his face with no arms.