For what purpose ‘offense’?

In the recent past I’ve had a few run-ins with this guy. He prides himself on being more “sensitive” than other people, and by that he means “more easily offended”. He seems to think that he is morally superior to people who aren’t as sensitive as he is, to the point of loudly accusing anyone who has a simple disagreement with him of being a horrible immoral monster.

For example: It should be fairly obvious to anyone who has read my posts about headscarves that I am a staunch feminist. Few things piss me off more than the plight of women in certain Muslim countries who aren’t even allowed to leave their house without having to cower under a veil, knowing that if an ankle or some of their hair is accidentally visible, they could be raped or murdered, and their attack will be condoned by a society that sees women as no different than “uncovered meat”. Quite frankly, it outrages me that there are still places in the world where women are considered sub-human.

I feel that I’ve established my “creds” as someone who does have a sense of morality. But, oops! I also have a sense of humor.

I think the phrase “abortion tickles!” is funny (and if you stick around ’til the end, I’ll discuss it in more detail). Mr. Weenie thinks this is “crass” and yet also believes that I would throw a hissy fit (or something) if someone made an anti-feminist joke. I wouldn’t (more on this a little later, too). But every time I tried to talk to Mr. Weenie about this, because I was upset at having been snap-judged, he would just get all huffy about how I’m clearly not as sensitive as he is, and storm off.

It is possible to be appropriately horrified about all of the horrible things humans do to each other without turning into some kind of PC lunatic who can’t walk outside without being “offended” by something. As far as I’m concerned, this is the difference:

Horrified: “OMG WTF. That’s wrong — it’s just wrong!”
Offended: “Waah, waah waah, that hurt my feewings!”

Does it actually help, say, the women in Afghanistan if my feewings are hurt? Are they any less oppressed if I spend all my time crying about them? Does the fact that I can sleep at night mean I’m any less horrified or that I think it’s any less wrong? No, it doesn’t, and I’m insulted that Mr. Weenie thinks it does. It’s bad enough that Christians think they invented morality, but someone who’s just so unbearably sensitive that he thinks he deserves a gold star and a crown because of it? That is quite possibly worse. It must be really lonely thinking you’re the only person on Earth who deserves to call themselves human. I hope Mr. Weenie gets some therapy.

And now, an excerpt from a message I sent Mr. Weenie in an attempt to get him to admit that he was wrong (something I doubt he’s capable of):

“abortion tickles!” is funny because WE ALL KNOW that abortion does not tickle. It is an absurd statement, and the fact that it is on a taboo subject increases its shock value and therefore its humor. It’s the some way with “dead baby” jokes and the like. The Family Guy episode “When You Wish Upon a Weinstein” joked about several racial stereotypes, mainly about Jews and black people. It was initially deemed inappropriate for television. I thought it was fucking hilarious, and one of the reasons for that was that with every joke, I was saying, “I can’t believe they got away with saying that!!” Shock value. Now, as someone who deplores bigotry (see, you’re not the only person who has values, I just don’t lord them over people to feel superior), am I honor-bound to hate that episode and think that the writers of Family Guy are horrible, disgusting racists, and am I a hypocrite for thinking otherwise? No — because they were NOT making fun of Jews and black people, they were poking fun at the STEREOTYPES that exist about them. It is funny in large part because WE ALL KNOW (or at least believe we can assume) that Seth MacFarlane doesn’t actually believe those stereotypes. It’s all in good fun.

One of the consequences of joking about things like this is that it has to be done *right* — if it fails, it will fail horribly. Your proposed anti-feminist “joke” — hey chicken girl - you’re a fucking woman. that means that you’re dumb as shit and belong in the kitchen. — fails because it is indistinguishable from what an actual misogynist would say. My friend Julian pointed this out. You didn’t listen. It took me a few hours to find an example of an anti-feminist joke that doesn’t fail. I gave Pullet a %women trigger, with the response: Women should stay in the kitchen and make me a sandwich! Kind of lame, but it is a little tiny bit funny in light of the fact that I’m female, and Pullet is female and a BOT on top of that, making it absurd for it to be thinking such things. It also references the “sudo make me a sandwich” joke, as well as Pullet’s condition as a bot (Pullet, bots are what? Bots are our faithful servants! and Pullet is making an absurdist demand for women to be its faithful servants).

I also have triggers that say “Feminism is the radical notion that women are people” and “I don’t know what a feminist is, I only know that people call me one when I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat, or a prostitute” — that is what I *actually* believe. And it is precisely BECAUSE I believe those things that I can find anti-feminist jokes absurdly funny — to a misogynist, they’re not absurd!

While I’m at it, my favorite stopperbot trigger: I love Jesus! — You sick freak, necrophilia is weird. “Loving Jesus” is normally assumed to be a positive, life-affirming thing. Bot turns this expectation on its head by calling the Jesus lover “you sick freak”. Then it perverts “loving” Jesus into loving him *that* way, and calls this “necrophilia”, implying that Jesus is dead, which is sacrilegious (sacrilicious!). Absurdist humor.

I doubt he ever read it. The only response I ever got was “fuck off”. If he happens to read this and decides to defend himself, that’s fine. But if it’s nothing more than “fuck off and die, you stupid little bitch”, expect it to be deleted. Or, if it amuses me, maybe not.

Tags: Drama, The Interweb