Well, see, it’s very simple. You just need to follow these eight steps. Love everyone while hating everyone, everything, and life itself, give away everything you own, follow all of the 613 commandments in the old testament better than the pharisees do while being born again and becoming like a little child, and you’re a shoo-in!

I just wonder why he didn’t mention the thing in Revelations about the population of heaven being 144,000 male virgins. Do you feel lucky?

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